Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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