If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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