Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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