They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
