is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
