I murdered the dance floor call the cops
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
