Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
