I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
