I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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