he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
