I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
