i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
