Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
