My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
