Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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