Me. At least after what I've been through.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I take back everything I said about communal showers
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
