A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
