She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
