we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize