someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
