They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
