Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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