matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
