I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
