i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
