your thong is hanging out like whoa
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
