Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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