found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
is it fun? or sober?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
