now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
