i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
