There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
