I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
