Moan for me like Helen Keller
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize