I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
