I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize