your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I understand Curling. That high.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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