I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She's the barista slut.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
When did angry sex become our thing?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
