If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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