so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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