i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
