I wish I could teleport
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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