foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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