All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
