somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize