Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
