she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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