idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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