its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
