Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
