ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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