Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
