he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
