Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
