He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize