My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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