dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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