I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
