Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize