I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
