After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
