Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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