I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
