holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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