Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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